Funny Wedding Quotes 99 Beautiful funny quotes for the newlyweds - wishesdb

Funny Wedding Quotes: If you are invited to a wedding, you often need a funny wedding saying for the wedding gifts, for example. No matter whether for the wedding invitations, the greeting card, the wedding speech or the guest book – here you will find funny wedding sayings, quotes and rhymes for every occasion.

A wedding is a happy event, which is why people are welcome to laugh or smile heartily there. Regardless of whether you are a family member, friend, parent or best man of the wedding couple – with a well-chosen saying or poem you ensure the necessary fun at the wedding celebration and give your congratulations the finishing touch.

Basically, funny wedding sayings are suitable if you know the bride and groom well. If you are only a distant acquaintance, you should perhaps use another saying. Because some bridal couples feel attacked when they hear a funny but provocative saying at their wedding.

Funny sayings about the wedding are suitable to see married life in an ironic light and to make fun of the roles of the spouses. It is best not just to write the funny saying on your wedding card, but combine it with some sincere words from you, in which you congratulate the bride and groom on their wedding from the bottom of your heart.

If you can’t come up with a series of funny sayings on your own, you will find many funny wedding Quotes, poems and Short quotes below that will surely make not only the bridal couple smile.

Funny wedding quotes

No matter whether long or short quotes – basically the statements of famous people are very popular for wedding wishes. When making your selection, make sure that the content of the words applies to the bride and groom. You should also make sure that the person quoted also meets the tastes of the couple.

Short quotes are particularly suitable as an addition to wedding cards. Because this allows you to give your greeting card an individual note and show the bride and groom that you have made an effort.

But also as a bridal couple you can find something here. Because these funny quotes from famous people also look good on invitation cards for a wedding or on the thank you card after marriage.

1. “Women simplify our pain, double our pleasure, and triple our expenses. ” –  James Saunders

2. “He who keeps his mouth shut when he sees that he is wrong is wise. If you shut up when you are right, you are married. ” –  George Bernard Shaw

3. “Love is a great disease ” –  two people always have to go to bed. 

4. “Marriage is a port in a storm, but often a storm in the port. ” –  Jean Antoine Petit

5. “Love is as unproblematic as a vehicle. Only the handlebars, the passengers and the road are problematic. ” –  Franz Kafka

6. “Marriage is the original attempt to cut costs in half by doubling them. ” –  George Mikes

7. “Love is a stupidity committed by two people. ” –  Napoleon

8. “A man is only properly married when he understands every word that his wife has not said. ” –  Alfred Hitchcock

9. “Before you get married, keep your eyes wide open and half closed afterwards. ” –  Benjamin Franklin

10. “Marry or not marry, you will regret both. ” –  Socrates

11. “You only know what happiness is when you have married. ” –  And then it’s too late. 

12. “You’re happily married if you’d rather come home than leave. ” –  Heinz Rühmann

13. “Anyone who wants to have a happy marriage must make a manly decision from day one to insist with relentless energy on the will of his wife in all controversies. ” –  Oscar Blumenthal

14. “From a distance, marriage looks extraordinarily easy. ” –  Hans Fallada

15. “Women love the simple things in life – men, for example.” – Farrah Facet

16. “Women have developed in the last few years. You are no longer satisfied at the stove, doing laundry and taking care of your child. Men have to accept that. ” –  Lothar Matthäus

17. “The men may have discovered fire. But women know better how to play with it. ” –  Sarah Jessica Parker

18. “It is the greatest miracle of love that it makes women mute even. ” –  Oskar Blumenthal

19. “You know, we live in the age of abbreviations. ‘Marriage’ is short for the Latin ‘Errare humanum est’ ” –  ‘To err is human’. 

20. “Marriage works best when both partners stay a little unmarried. ” –  Claudia Cardinale

21. “The feeling needs opposition. If you marry for love, at least your parents should be against it. ” –  Hermann Bahr

22. “Marriage is the establishment of a society for conflict research. ” –  Wolfram Weidner

23. “You can do anything you want with a woman in love. ” –  Gustav Klimt

24. “You get on well with some men before and after marriage. It just doesn’t work in between. ” –  Zsa Zsa Gabor

25. “The man is lyrical, the woman epic, the marriage dramatic. ” –  Novalis

26. “Every man can have the last word to a woman, provided he says yes. ” –  Ernst Stankovski

27. “It is much easier to die for a woman you love than to live with her. ” –  Lord Byron

28. “Marriages are made in heaven, so this state usually requires unearthly patience. ” –  Johann Nepomuk Nestroy

29. “If you don’t have a sense of humor, you shouldn’t get married. ” –  Eduard Mörike

30. “Those who want to drown an unhappy love in alcohol are acting foolishly. Because alcohol is preserved. ” –  Max Dauthendey

31. “Marriage is when you still love. ” –  Siegmund von Radecki

32. “Getting married: A wonderful thing, as long as it doesn’t become a habit. ” –  William Somerset Maugham

33. “Those who enjoy their life will soon be confronted by their wife. ” –  Henrik Ibsen

34. “The first job of a young wife is to cook her husband’s friends on the run. ” –  Micheline Presle

35. “Men’s life is determined by deficiency symptoms: they marry for lack of experience, they divorce for lack of patience, and they remarry for lack of memory. ” –  Paul Heinemann

36. “The marriage certificate is a driver’s license that you get before the driving test. ” –  Wolfram Weidner

37. “Marriage is life imprisonment, aggravated by a common camp. ” –  Karl Farkas

38. “Of course you have to take the men as they are. But you can’t let it be like that. ” –  Zsa Zsa Gabor

39. “My recipe for success for a functioning partnership: If you are wrong, admit it to your wife. And if you are right, be silent like a grave. ” –  Marcello Mastroianni

40. “Marriage is an attempt to be at least half as happy as a couple as one was alone. ” –  Oscar Wilde

41. “Women love the simple things in life ” –  men, for example. 

42. “Love, what a lovely haze! But in marriage, there is the art! ” –  Theodor Storm

43. “The clever husband only buys his wife the most expensive china because he can then be sure that she will not throw it at him. ” –  Gino Locatelli

44. “To marry means to cut one’s rights in half and double one’s duties. ” –  Arthur Schopenhauer

45. “The man mainly has a head so that the woman can twist it. ” –  Jacques Prevert

46. “Most women choose their nightgown with more sense than their husbands. ” –  Coco Chanel

47. “The husband always has one option to have the last word: He can ask for forgiveness. ” –  Sir Noel Coward

48. “There are two periods when a man does not understand a woman: before the wedding and after the wedding. ” –  Robert Lembke

49. “Marriage is the union of two people, one of whom can never remember birthdays and the other never forgets them. ” –  Frederic Ogden Nash

50. “There are certainly many reasons for divorce, but the main one is and will be the wedding. ” –  Jerry Lewis

51. “Marriage isn’t the worst when lightning is married to a lightning rod. ” –  Tilla Durieux

52. “Nobody is so crazy that they cannot find someone even crazier who understands them. ” –  Heinrich Heine

53. “In marriage, the script and direction come from the man, dialogues and sounds from the woman. ” –  Federico Fellini

54. “Women simplify our pain, double our pleasure, and triple our expenses. ” –  James Saunders

55. “In love, it is enough to please with lovable qualities and charms. But in marriage you have to love one another to be happy, or at least have matching faults. ” –  Nicolas Chamfort

56. “Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious. Both are disappointed. ” –  Oscar Wilde

Short Funny wedding Quotes

Funny Wedding Quotes Beautiful quotes for the newlyweds - wishesdb

The key is in brevity – do you agree? Then the following short, funny wedding sayings are just right for you.

Because it doesn’t always have to be a long poem, with a short saying you bring momentum to the greeting or invitation card as well as to the guest book.

1. “There is a smart woman behind a long marriage.”

2. “Marriage may be folly – but at least it is not your sole responsibility.”

3. “A man who really loves his wife won’t talk to her because he doesn’t want to interrupt her.”

4. “A happy marriage consists in forgiving one another for getting married.”

5. “Marriage is a lottery in which men risk their freedom and women risk their luck.”

6. “If a man decides to marry, it will surely be the last decision he could make for himself.”

7. “Every man would like to have a woman who is beautiful, charming, clever, sexy and good at cooking – but unfortunately you can only marry one.”

8. “Before you get married, make sure your cat may not be allergic to him.”

9. “A man is no longer afraid of being robbed once he’s been married long enough.”

10. “Happily married means one is married and the woman is happy.”

11. “A good marriage is when both are wearing their pants. A very good marriage is when neither of you has pants on.”

12. “Marriage is a duel that begins with wrestling.”

13. “A good marriage is like hairspray: perfect hold without sticking.”

14. “Some women treat their husbands like God: they hardly notice him unless they need something.”

15. “You should hold your wife’s hand tight not only when you are taking a romantic stroll in the park, but also when you are walking through the city. Otherwise she goes shopping.”

16. “A good marriage and work have one thing in common: It is good to like the boss.”

17. “Marriage is a duel that begins with the wedding.”

18. “Marriage can be compared to a mushroom dish: we always only know if it will suit us when it is too late.”

19. “You don’t necessarily have to be on the same wavelength when you get married. But you should already be able to ride the other’s wave.”

20. “The basis of a good marriage is not unreserved openness, but wise restraint.”

21. “One should not marry someone who has not been tested in a traffic jam beforehand.”

22. “A comedy that ends with the wedding is the beginning of a tragedy. But take it easy: tragedies also have their charm.”

23. “All is well in a marriage when one can buy a parrot without guilty conscience.”

24. “A good marriage is about communication and compromise: she handles the communication and he handles the compromises.”

25. “The honeymoon is over when the dog brings you your slippers and the woman barks at you.”

26. “If you want to marry someone, you should put them in front of a computer with slow internet access. This is the only way to find out who the person really is.”

27. “So check whoever binds himself forever, whether he can find something better.”

28. “Before marriage you should open both eyes wide, but then turn a blind eye when you are married.”

29. “When married couples congratulate a couple on their wedding, many secretly wonder whether it should be better for them to express their condolences.”

30. “Marriages are made in heaven – that is why some people fall from the clouds afterwards.”

31. “Marriage is there to solve problems together that you would not have on your own.”

32. “If you fall in love at the right time, you don’t have to marry what’s left.”

33. “There are three things a man needs to say in order to have a happy marriage: You are right. I am wrong. I’m really sorry.”

34. “In marriage, one always has the choice between being right and living in harmony.”

35. “Three types of men have difficulty understanding women: young men, middle-aged men, and old men.”

36. “All of your single friends gathered today for this sad occasion: Two more great singles less!”

37. “A marriage is in danger if the woman says: “You always only want one thing!”, But the man no longer knows what that is.”

38. “Marriage is the world’s most costly method of realizing one’s mistakes.”

39. “Most people experience the miracle of love: When they are married, they usually wonder what they experience.”

40. “Most love affairs end happily because rarely does one lead to marriage.”

41. “Women worry about their future until they are married. Men only start then.”

42. “The statistics show: married men live longer. Experience shows: it seems to them for much longer.”

43. “If you marry young, you gain a lot of experience in a short period of time. If you marry old, however, then all the experience has been of no use.”

44. “Love is the light of life, only in marriage does the electricity bill come.”

45. “Marriage is a stupidity that is always committed in pairs.”

Short Wedding Quotes for your loved once

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